19

Nineteen years ago today I became Mrs. Erickson.  Today, I am amazed at how differently our lives have turned out.  Back in 1993, not only did I have big shoulder pads, I had my own plans.  Plans for "my" life, not necessarily "our" life.  I spent every dollar I earned on some sort of flying lesson.  After college, I got my private pilot's license.  Working in the aerospace industry pushed me further into loving all things aviation related.  I soon got my instrument rating and started working on my commercial rating with hopes of flying banner planes along the LA coast.  My big dream was to fly commercial jets, with really no concern about what my new husband thought.  Well, God had a different idea.  In 1995, I moved back home to work with my ailing dad and help him run his company; Eric followed shortly thereafter.  A couple years later Eric and I were blessed with Paul and a brand-new house.  In the same year, my dad died leaving my mom and me to run the company "solo".  A few years later, we were blessed with Emilie and then of course, "Frosting" came along.  All the while I was a "stay-at-home, jean-wearing, self-employed, sometimes barefoot and pregnant mom and wife" with a great life, but so very different than "my" plans.  In reality, my plans would have taken me on many wild adventures, but most likely I would have ended up a divorced adrenaline junky living in Marriot Hotels across the country.  So, here I am today, sitting in a hospital room, celebrating our 19th anniversary with Eric via text messages and watching Emilie's vital signs while she sleeps.  I'm certainly not thankful for a sick child, but I am thankful that God redirected my path.  I'm thankful that I have 3 wonderful kids and that I have a husband who has stuck around for better, for worse, for rich, for poorer, in sickness or in health.
Happy Anniversary Eric!!

Reality Ahead...You've Been Warned!

Up until a couple days ago, things were going fairly well for Emilie.  She tolerated the radiation and chemo treatments well and her appetite still existed.  The monster named mucositis arrived and has been causing havoc since.  Mucositis is the painful inflammation and ulceration of the mucous membranes that line the digestive tract, starting at the mouth all the way to the "bum".  It's an adverse effect of radiation and chemo.  Ugh! It is so painful for Emilie that she is not eating, drinking, or talking.  She is now taking nutrition via IV as well as all her meds.  The pain is controlled with morphine, which was "as needed" yesterday and changed to "round the clock" today.  Emilie is super tough and tried to work through the pain, but it was just too much.  She is very upset about being "fed" via IV and asked to have the nutrition bags covered with a pillowcase.  It's probably not a good idea to send Emilie pictures of yummy food at this point.  Mucositis is normal and expected to last another 1-2 weeks.  We are taking each day as it comes.  Other than the mucositis, today was a good day as far as Emilie's lab numbers.

Nicolas' cells are setting up the bone marrow factory and we will be seeing the results of Emilie's cell recovery in about 2-3 weeks.  Because she has had so much previous chemo, count recovery may take a bit longer, but because Nicolas was a perfect match, it may take less time for count recovery.

Emilie has endured so much pain, disappointment, and sadness; things that no child should ever have to deal with.  Cancer affects the whole family.  The boys and Nana miss Emilie; Emilie misses the boys and Nana.  The boys and Nana miss me; I miss them.  We all just miss "normal", but we all have choices too!  I am choosing joy and gratitude.  Even with yuckiness all around us, there is always something to be joyful and grateful about.  We're keeping our hands up on our roller coaster.

A Hero In The Shape Of A Brother

 

Yesterday was the long-awaited "bone marrow transplant day".  It was a big event in our family as well as in the oncology unit at LPCH.  Emilie went through two weeks of chemo in November and December to get her bone marrow to show zero cancer.  Last Monday, she got a new central line (the third time is a charm) followed by radiation orientation.  Tuesday through Friday of last week Emilie endured 3 radiation treatments per day.  She needed to stand for 7 minutes during each treatment and with the help of her straight leg braces, she did wonderfully.  All the months of physical therapy and swimming really paid off; Emilie had great balance and endurance.  She is one tough kid! Last Saturday, she had a very high dose of chemo which required her to also have a high volume of IV fluids.  The three of us worked very well to manage the 5 liters of "output" in a short 24-hour period!!!  Sunday and Monday were days of rest and Emilie really needed to rest as the radiation and chemo on her little body knocked her out.

Yesterday Nicolas arrived early for the harvest of his bone marrow.  He handled everything like a little man with no crying and lots and lots of smiles.  He thought it was pretty fun to order food off the hospital menu, play with the height of his bed and ring the nurse when his IV pump alarmed.  Nicolas ordered salmon and mashed potatoes for lunch and when I let Eric and Emilie know his lunch order, Emilie said that he would surely send it back to the kitchen.  When it arrived, Nicolas removed the lid and said, "OOOH, that looks good" and proceeded to eat everything on his plate.  He and I joined Eric and Emilie in Emilie's room to celebrate Emilie's new bone marrow before Nana took Nicolas home. The (really bad) photo above shows Supergirl, Frosting, and the bag of "hope". The hope which is our strong and confident expectation that this bone marrow transplant will keep Emilie in remission forever. 

We will be staying in the hospital for about 4 weeks after which we will move to the Palo Alto Ronald McDonald House.  We will hopefully be home on May 25th just in time for summer.  We have experienced long hospital stays and lengthy time away from home and we are determined to get through 100 days and put this part of our journey behind us.

I have had many feelings over the last few months and I keep coming back to gratitude.  I am so grateful for yet another shot at life for Emilie and grateful to God for blessing us with Nicolas.  God knew!

Here's the story of Supergirl and Frosting from 2010.