A Calm Among The Chaos

Last night we had a bit of chaos in room 1415.   Emilie has had intermittent fevers for the last five days and antibiotic after antibiotic has not gotten rid of the fevers, so last night they started a new, strong anti-fungal med in hopes of stopping the fevers.  Well, 15 minutes into the dose, Emilie started having an allergic reaction complete with difficulty breathing and coughing.  This led to her heart rate increasing, blood pressure dropping, oxygen saturation dropping, and of course lots of nurses and docs in the room.   Prior to the new med, she was given "pre-meds" (Benadryl and Tylenol) to prevent an allergic reaction.  So, on top of all her numbers dropping, she was doped up on Benadryl, which made things a little bit scarier.  About an hour after treating her reaction, she was pretty much back to normal, but her little body was exhausted so she took a good nap.  Thankfully, Eric (who had not been at the hospital for 5 days), showed up 10 minutes into the reaction.  It was nice having him here!!!

Every morning, Emilie's docs make daily rounds and today, they had super news.  Emilie's white blood cell (WBC) count went from 300 to 600 which gave her an absolute neutrophil count (ANC) of 400. When Emilie has three days of an ANC of 500+, Nicolas' bone marrow is officially engrafted. Woohoo!!!! The docs think that her WBC may double again...we're hoping for a WBC of 1200 tomorrow.  An increase in WBC also means that her immune system is recovering and will slowly be able to keep "bad guys" away. (Click HERE for more info on BMT. )  Really, really great news.  Every day has its blessings and challenges, but we know that...
  

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.

Psalm 46:1

and

Be still and know that I am God. 

Psalm 46:10

19

Nineteen years ago today I became Mrs. Erickson.  Today, I am amazed at how differently our lives have turned out.  Back in 1993, not only did I have big shoulder pads, I had my own plans.  Plans for "my" life, not necessarily "our" life.  I spent every dollar I earned on some sort of flying lesson.  After college, I got my private pilot's license.  Working in the aerospace industry pushed me further into loving all things aviation related.  I soon got my instrument rating and started working on my commercial rating with hopes of flying banner planes along the LA coast.  My big dream was to fly commercial jets, with really no concern about what my new husband thought.  Well, God had a different idea.  In 1995, I moved back home to work with my ailing dad and help him run his company; Eric followed shortly thereafter.  A couple years later Eric and I were blessed with Paul and a brand-new house.  In the same year, my dad died leaving my mom and me to run the company "solo".  A few years later, we were blessed with Emilie and then of course, "Frosting" came along.  All the while I was a "stay-at-home, jean-wearing, self-employed, sometimes barefoot and pregnant mom and wife" with a great life, but so very different than "my" plans.  In reality, my plans would have taken me on many wild adventures, but most likely I would have ended up a divorced adrenaline junky living in Marriot Hotels across the country.  So, here I am today, sitting in a hospital room, celebrating our 19th anniversary with Eric via text messages and watching Emilie's vital signs while she sleeps.  I'm certainly not thankful for a sick child, but I am thankful that God redirected my path.  I'm thankful that I have 3 wonderful kids and that I have a husband who has stuck around for better, for worse, for rich, for poorer, in sickness or in health.
Happy Anniversary Eric!!

Reality Ahead...You've Been Warned!

Up until a couple days ago, things were going fairly well for Emilie.  She tolerated the radiation and chemo treatments well and her appetite still existed.  The monster named mucositis arrived and has been causing havoc since.  Mucositis is the painful inflammation and ulceration of the mucous membranes that line the digestive tract, starting at the mouth all the way to the "bum".  It's an adverse effect of radiation and chemo.  Ugh! It is so painful for Emilie that she is not eating, drinking, or talking.  She is now taking nutrition via IV as well as all her meds.  The pain is controlled with morphine, which was "as needed" yesterday and changed to "round the clock" today.  Emilie is super tough and tried to work through the pain, but it was just too much.  She is very upset about being "fed" via IV and asked to have the nutrition bags covered with a pillowcase.  It's probably not a good idea to send Emilie pictures of yummy food at this point.  Mucositis is normal and expected to last another 1-2 weeks.  We are taking each day as it comes.  Other than the mucositis, today was a good day as far as Emilie's lab numbers.

Nicolas' cells are setting up the bone marrow factory and we will be seeing the results of Emilie's cell recovery in about 2-3 weeks.  Because she has had so much previous chemo, count recovery may take a bit longer, but because Nicolas was a perfect match, it may take less time for count recovery.

Emilie has endured so much pain, disappointment, and sadness; things that no child should ever have to deal with.  Cancer affects the whole family.  The boys and Nana miss Emilie; Emilie misses the boys and Nana.  The boys and Nana miss me; I miss them.  We all just miss "normal", but we all have choices too!  I am choosing joy and gratitude.  Even with yuckiness all around us, there is always something to be joyful and grateful about.  We're keeping our hands up on our roller coaster.